Say "Yes" to everything?

Can you say "Yes" to everything?

Say "Yes?"

I recently listened to a speaker who said, “Say yes to everything.” This struck a chord with me and I could not shake the thought of saying “yes” to everything. I thought about this for a couple of weeks, deciding how I felt about this advice. I then had the opportunity to test the idea. I was presented with 2 opportunities that happened on the same day and time. I entertained the idea of saying “yes” to both. Could I do it? Wouldn’t it be amazing if I could be in 2 places at once? Could I duplicate myself and set up at 2 locations simultaneously? I actually entertained this idea for about a week, trying to figure out how I could make this work…to the point of great stress and frustration. I said “No” to the second opportunity. I decided that I could not say “Yes” to everything.

When I first heard the idea of saying “Yes” to everything, I immediately thought, “This is not possible, nor realistic.”  As I thought about it, I wondered what the benefit would be. I analyzed the potential. The speaker had presented that by saying “Yes”, you opened up the potential of not missing an opportunity. Afterall, you never know what door might be opened by being at said event or opportunity. Going on to say that your house may be a mess. You might eat pizza 3 nights a week. You might be tired. Your schedule may be disrupted. Suggesting that if you are late to an appointment, just say, “Thank you for accommodating my busy schedule”.  Your life might be a mess, but that the opportunities availed to you would be worth it in the end.

I spoke with my mentor about the conflict I was feeling about what had been presented. Her take was not that you should actually say, “YES”, rather that you should open up the possibility to consider ALL opportunities presented. Make your choices, but to allow yourself the chance to say, “Yes”.  After all, so what if the laundry did not get done on your scheduled Sunday, or that you did not have a home cooked meal. Suggesting that your tidy little life could tolerate being disrupted.

As I contemplated further, I considered many things. 

The necessity to make a choice. As much as we each want it all, that simply is not possible. A choice must be made, daily! If you are asked “What kind of ice cream do you want on your triple dip ice cream cone?” and you respond, “I want chocolate and vanilla and strawberry and mocha and rocky road and chocolate chip and mint and butterscotch.” Not only will it not all fit on your cone, but you will get a stomachache and be very sick when you try to eat it all.  The same is true of the decisions necessary to live a balanced life.

The necessity of being on time. You may think this is a trivial thing. No big deal if you are 5 minutes late, right?  Think about the last time you had a scheduled appointment. You allotted a specific amount of time to that appointment. You arrive on time, but you have to wait. You wait 5 minutes, then 20 minutes, then a half hour. How long do you wait before you are annoyed? The allotted time for your appointment has passed and it is now encroaching on your next appointment. You expect others to be considerate of your time.  Being considerate of another person’s time is equally important. 

Being organized. This is so important if you think about it. Let’s say you have a business dinner with a prospective client. The meeting starts at 6, but you had to work all day. You only had 20 minutes to get home and change and pick up your supplies for the meeting. You arrive. Dash in to change, only to find that you have no appropriate clothing…because you did not do laundry. You then could not find your presentation...because you had not filed it properly. Then, you step bare footed in doggie poo…Ugh...because, you did not take time to let the dog go outside. Now, you have to clean up the mess AND change your socks! You finally arrive at the scheduled appointment only to realize that you did not call to make the reservation!  Your prospective client is waiting, and you are a mess. Not to mention the bad reference that is forming in his mind. But let’s turn back time and imagine that you had planed ahead. You did laundry on Sunday, knowing you would need a certain outfit for this meeting. You also completed your presentation had it loaded on your computer and had all other materials in your bag. When you woke this morning, you planned ahead, had your clothes laid out. When you walked in the door, you put the dog out while you dressed. You arrived at your meeting on time. You walk in calm, collected and at ease in your surroundings. You present the aura and beauty of a well put together individual. Which made a better impression on your client?

Being trustworthy. If you commit to so many things that you can not possibly keep all of your commitments, then nobody can count on you to do what you say you will do. Who would you rather do business with, someone who does what they say they will do or someone who always keeps you waiting?

The lost art of Prioritizing. Deciding what is most important and doing it first. To do this well, you must look at any given task and decide it’s importance and sometimes you must say, “No”. Saying “No” to something good to make room for something better can be painful in the moment, but always pays off in the long run. I like the word “No”. It sets boundaries. “No” is a powerful word.

Is work/life balance a sham? You may want to set your own terms and make your own rules, but there has to be balance in everything. Just try baking cookies simply by throwing some flour water and eggs in the oven without proper measurements, mixing and heat. You will get a glob of unappetizing goo. You must use proper measurements. The oven must be the proper temperature. And timing is everything.

There is also the question of morals and standards. What do you believe in? What standards have you put in place for yourself, the proverbial line in the sand that you will not cross. What you do and do not do on a daily basis reflects who you are. Can a person tell what you stand for simply by watching your daily life? Do you know what you believe and why you believe it? If so, saying “Yes” to everything becomes impossible.

As all these thoughts and more bounced around in my head, I came to realize that the answer is different for every person, but for me, I will contemplate every opportunity. I will evaluate it’s merit, value, and feasibility, then decide. 

I will definitely not say “Yes” to everything. I like the word “No”.

There is power in the word NO.